Womyn!

While listening to Slate Magazine Daily Podcast, I was tipped off to this article by Rebecca Traister in Salon magazine and it has me tickled to the point of giddy laughter. Feminists wholeheartedly supported the Obama/Biden ticket (obviously Sarah Palin's XX was trumped by her pro-life stance. Don't let the "W" in NOW mislead you, they support one type of woman, not all women.) And now I am having an absolute ball watching the subsequent hand-wringing as staunch feminists observe Michelle Obama morph from a high powered, strong, career woman into America's "First Mom."

(Before continuing, I'd like to clarify that I think the First Lady is a non-issue. I had not even glanced into Michelle's profile until I started reading this chorus of frustrated female journalists. Consequently, I checked out Michelle's vita, and let me just say, I was blown away. This woman is amazing! Her personal, professional, academic, civic and parenting lives impress me beyond words. She is indeed a woman of conviction and action and she has my utmost respect.)

As Michelle's husband ascends to the oval office, she must, by some feministic law, fall back to 'second fiddle.' Because of Barack's success, in the words of Traister, Michelle has begun to "lose her own private, very successful, very high-profile and very independent identity" and is instead becoming an "extension of her husband." In More magazine, Geraldine Brooks writes that watching Michelle is a "depressingly retrograde narrative of stifling gender roles and frustrating trade-offs... it is her husband's career, his choices that have shaped her life in the last decade." So now, this powerful, strong, intelligent and successful woman has come to stand in more prominently than anyone could have imagined for the shortcomings of feminism. Why? Because she is leaving her influential job as a lawyer at the University of Chicago Hospitals to follow her husband to Washington. And more egregious, to play mommy to her two young daughters. They want to define Michelle as a hard-working, prosperous career woman. Michelle is stepping up to take on the role of wife and mother.

Michelle's interviews of late have shifted from policy initiatives and international relations to which DC schools she's considering for her children. There is less reference to her as Barack's "closest advisor" (his terms) and now she finds herself assigned the task of choosing the White House puppy. And have you seen her clothes? Her high powered, tailored professional ensembles have been replaced by floral prints and airy sun dresses. Whether all this is by her own choice or by urgings of the DNC, Michelle's image is softening. And I get the impression she's happy and enjoying this time. She seems to smile more and relax when talking about her daughters and her eyes sparkle when she brags on her husband. This transition from one female role to another is frustrating her feminist counterparts. Feminists hate women to be traditionally feminine. (Again, how could they dismiss Sarah Palin so easily?)

So, what do I have to say about this? Bravo! I love to see strong, educated, successful women CHOOSE to be full-time wives and moms. I think any career, no matter how meaningful, and believe me, Michelle's work is consequential and far reaching, can be put on hold for five, eight or ten years. Michelle has chosen to honor her marital vows and serve as a mate to her husband. She is respecting the role of mother, something that all women should seriously reflect on before bringing a child into this hectic world. The Obamas are young and Michelle can yet go out and save Chicago's south side, but first, she must protect and buoy up her own daughters and her own marriage. This, during a time which will undoubtedly be a severe test of unity. Barack has some hard times ahead and having his "closest advisor" and ally with him, in the residency, is the most responsible and loving thing Michelle can do. (Think how differently Bill Clinton's legacy would have played out if his wife were nearer to him and his heart during his presidency.)

I'm not saying that mothers shouldn't work outside the home. I think women are a tremendous asset to society as a whole. They are invaluable contributors to the workplace as lawyers, doctors, teachers, engineers, politicians, every field, really. What I am railing against is the feminist idea that choosing to be home is somehow a diminutive role. Women are free to chose, so long as they don't chose to stay home. Homemaking is, somehow, a lower use of our faculties and talents. So, instead of respecting Michelle's right to select this role for herself, temporary as it may be, they are throwing her under the bus as one more lumpy, traditional First Lady.

Now I know I sound like a huge Tammy Wynette fan and you are all hearing "Stand By Your Man" crooning in the background. I'm not that girl. I am, however, a big proponent of partnership and responsibility. When you marry, you merge and become one. When you have a child you commit to raising that child in security and love. One of you, mom or dad, needs to be there, physically and emotionally, at all times. That's being a responsible parent. From what I'm seeing and reading, Michelle senses this and understands that her husband is going to be a little preoccupied for the next few years, crucial years for their daughters and their marriage. And despite the feminist outrage, Michelle is doing what she judges best for her, Barack and the girls. Isn't that what feminism was supposed to be about? Freedom to choose what is best for you and those you love?

In her many roles, Michelle's greatest contribution to this country as the First Lady might just be two grounded, intelligent, and happy young women. Her girls may grow up to change the world, or simply change diapers. Regardless, they will have been nurtured by a loving and wonderful mother and that's never regrettable.

Traisters closing paragraph: "And now, she [Michelle] is in the unenviable yet deeply happy position of being a history-maker whose own balancing act allowed her husband the space to make his political career zip forward, his books sing, his daughters healthy and beautiful, and his campaign succeed. In having done all this, Michelle Obama wrought for herself a life (temporarily, at least) of playing second fiddle. Then again, did she have a choice?"

I simply cannot think of a sadder, more detached view of womanhood. Anyone who has ever been in a loving, secure and equitable marriage knows that Traister just doesn't get it. She's straining to hear a single violin where there is a harmonious duet.