Bug Tag

I've been tagged and I'm always looking for an excuse to complain so here you go:

Ten Things that Bug Me:

(In a particular order)

(1) Sniffing Dogs: why do pet owners let their dogs romp up to complete strangers and sniff their crotch. Please, someone, tell me why this is acceptable in our culture. It's gross and rude and invasive. Some of you are thinking, "but all dogs sniff, it's what they do." Not so! My neighbor's dog never sniffs and he checks me out daily. Good dog, Jeffrey.
(2) Bluetooth Phones: unless you're securing the premises for Obama's pending arrival or being talked through an emergency tracheotomy, I'm betting the conversation can wait. People walking around shouting one side of a conversation (and always a boring one, at that) into a crowd of people is just inappropriate social behavior. So annoying!
(3) The Five Day Workweek: if we eliminate Facebook and Youtube from office computers, don't you think we could get the national work week down to four days.
(4) Brushing the Kids Teeth: too much pressure to do it just as the dentist advises. It makes me anxious every night.
(5) Logan Radio: I don't do Country so I'm stuck with a Raffi cd or silence. I choose silence.
(6) Facebook: it's out of control at my house. And none of my old boyfriends will chat with me.
(7) Eli Picking His Nose: someone tell me how to make it stop.
(8) Mornings: since when does elementary school have to start so dang early? We're trying to stay up until 3 AM over here.
(9) Not-My-Problem Parents: moms who honestly expect public school to teach, mold, and inspire their children. Those over-worked and underpaid teachers are responsible for the 3 R's, folks, and that's it. The rest is on you.
(10) Britney Spears New Album: haven't heard it yet. Hate it!

On this happy note, I tag Keith, Brittney, Jandee, Dustin and the other Big J. Have at it!

MP3 Killed the Radio Star

I figured you were dying to know which podcasts I referenced in the last blog list so, just for you, another list... with bullets!

• Slate Political Gabfest The hosting trio could not be more liberal (they are socialist, really) but I love to hear what John Dickerson, David Plotz and Emily Bazelon have to say about current political issues. They provide me an educated peek into what the "other side" is thinking and I believe they are truly trying to understand the Republican/Democrat debate. Despite our differing views on government and the players therein, I benefit from their assessments. Besides, their on air banter really makes me laugh.
  

• Intelligence Squared Don't be turned off by its hyper-pretentious name. Intelligence Squared is a series of Oxford-style debates which are consistently witty, provocative and informative. Their stated purpose is to "raise the level of public discourse on our most challenging issues." Each debate features speakers who are irrefutably the most authoritative and informed advocates for both sides of each issue. I learn something new every time and frequently find my opinions challenged, if not changed altogether. This forum gives me the chance to hear arguments from some of the smartest people on the planet.
  

• This American Life The old and ever popular NPR broadcast which provides a glimpse into the everyday life of average Americans. Over time it maintains a relatively good balance between the comedic and the solemn elements of life in the United States. This fall they spent a great deal of airtime trying to explain and demystify the economic crisis for us laypeople. I learned a great deal about Wall Street (which I have promptly forgotten). And I must confess, for more than a few months, I harbored an innocent crush on Ira Glass. He's just so sweet and squeaky, and genuinely shocked and confused by injustice. On air you can hear he wants to be objective, even tough at times, but in the end, his soft melt-away inside gives him away. Sweet Ira.

• Common Sense with Dan Carlin Dan is the perfect follow-up to Ira Glass. He's loud, fast-talking, and brutally funny. He's a pragmatist with a candid speech pattern that is sometimes painful but mostly refreshing. He looks at the events shaping our world through a lens unique to him due to his strong history background. His podcasts are drenched in historical references and by historical, I mean references back to Constantine, Charlemagne, and Alexander the Great. Dan knows his world history and he uses it to critique American politics in a way that I've never considered before. But, perhaps what I appreciate most about Dan is his commitment to providing solutions and not just complaints. So many political pundits critique and whine and gripe but never present a viable solution. Dan comes up with the most brilliant solutions to cure many of our modern ills. Wish he were broadcasting from the White House rather than the airport runway in Oregon.

I also listen to an assortment of scientific podcasts (Science Talk, How Stuff Works, This Week in Science) but only because Keith generously screens them and pulls the ones he knows I will find intriguing. I'm not that interested in astronomical advancements or multivariable calculus but when they start talking about hybrid cars 0r memory-enhancing drugs, I'm all ears.

Okay, now it's time to reciprocate. I have another marathon scheduled for fall 2009 so if you have any podcast suggestions, I'd love a few new running companions.
Cheers!

Some Stuff I Wasn't Paid to Endorse

2008 brought so many great things that I'm recording a list of my favorite discoveries (or rediscoveries) below:

• 30 Rock I have been a fan of Tina Fey ever since she began co-hosting Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon on SNL years ago. But she has taken her talent for brilliant writing and comedic acting to a new level with 30 Rock. And you'd be hard-pressed to find a person more averse to Alec Baldwin than me, but his portrayal of Jack Donaghy is, without doubt, the funniest depiction of a rich, elitist, capitalist that I have ever seen. I look forward to this show every week.
• The New Adventures of Old Christine I love Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Love her so much I faithfully tuned in to "Watching Ellie" (2002) despite its weak plot and redundant story line. But Julia has nailed it this time in New Adventures; I smile just thinking about it. Every week she provides lines like, "Racist? Racist? I'm not a racist. I drive a Prius for Heaven's sake!" And as if Julia's comedy wasn't enough, Wanda Sykes co-stars and can match her laugh for laugh.
  
• Lime I've always been a lemon zest kind of girl. This year, for reasons I don't recall, I started using lime where I would normally use lemons, and the change is delightful!
• Long Hair I grew up associating long hair on men with chewing tobacco and crude language. I hung to that association until July when I looked at my husband and realized it had been six months since I trimmed his hair, and he looked pretty, pretty, pretty good (to be said in the fashion of Larry David on "Curb Your Enthusiasm"). We decided to give it another few months, just to see if his language digressed or his hankering for chew increased and I was pleasantly surprised to find neither occurred. Not only that, he looked even cuter three months later. So, here I sit, 15 years too late to appreciate Brad Pitt's flowing locks in Legends of the Fall. I have found Keith's new look so winsome that I am now letting Eli's hair grow.
• Trail Running Last spring the other Big J introduced me to the most beautiful and challenging trail runs I've ever traversed. From April till November I ran up Logan Canyon at least twice a week and bemoaned every city-paved run in between. There is nothing quite as exhilarating as climbing hills at top speed and then exploding down the other side. And, I have never been one to stop needlessly during a run but this summer there were runs when the sun hit the canyon below or the leaves were colored just so that I had to stop and take in the vision of it all. Running trails has become, for me, a spiritual experience as much as a physical one. If not for the Logan River, Green Canyon and Crimson Trails, I would never have survived those long summer miles without my Auburn crew.
• Podcasts As just mentioned, I left my beloved running partners in Auburn so I had to make new friends. In the likeness of a young child with "imaginary friends," my new running partners are radio talk show hosts and podcast authors. It's pathetic, really, but I love my podcasts. I love them so much I think I will dedicate a separate blog post to them in a minute.
• Blogging Enough said.
• Utah Culture I'm not going to lie to you; I was anxious about moving back to Utah. After ten years east of the Rockies, I was not quite ready to relocate to my home state. Somehow I had envisioned that Utah=Mormons=Monotony. That I, being a Mormon myself, would be surrounded by people just like me and that would be most tiresome. Turns out, I was wrong. Providence is a fantastic little town. It's true, LDS culture dominates but how can I complain when the domineering philosophy promotes self-reliance, honesty, service, health and, if you look for it, humor. I am continually impressed by how skilled and talented the folks are around here--music, art, athletics, cooking, carpentry, gardening, landscaping and homemaking. Now this is not to say I don't roll my eyes from time to time at the surprising assumptions some locals make, but all in all, this is an excellent town and I think I'm gonna like it here. (As long as I'm discussing LDS culture, I might note that another of my favorite discoveries for 2008 is the Sons of Provo soundtrack. That is what makes the outermost LDS culture palpable--self deprecation and mockery. Thanks, Curt!)
  

And, last, but certainly not least,

• Keith It's true, in the last year Keith has stomped me at racquetball, tennis, chess, Trivial Pursuit, and all-you-can-eat-steak challenges, but aside from those few things, he has played the perfect husband. I married this boy for a whole host of reasons that, in hindsight, were relatively shallow and rash. (He was just so dang cute!) But every year since I have come to adore and appreciate him more. Not one of the aforementioned discoveries would have been exciting without him. (Except maybe the lime.) For the twelfth year in a row, Keith is what made 2008 truly great!

Deus Caritas Est

Earlier this month Michal was baptized as a member of our church. We decided it would be extra special to travel to SLC so she could be baptized with her cousin, who had also decided to be baptized. While sitting quietly on the pew, Michal leaned over to me and whispered, "You know, it's weird to think that I rode down to Salt Lake as Michal Gibson but I'll drive home a Christian." For her, this symbolic plunge will change who she is, how she views the world, and how she will behave toward other people. And this, for the rest of her life. Wednesday she told me, "I can feel the Holy Ghost telling me to share with Eli, " and she said today, "Now that I'm baptized, I'm trying not to get mad at Sam." Michal is becoming a better person; she's trying harder to be Christ-like.

How can I not contrast this with the week's reports of escalating violence in the middle east. I haven't read the Qur'an and I'm no expert on the Torah, (I have enough knowledge of the Old Testament to be sympathetic, though not benign to the subject matter) but I know that as canonized religious texts, they both claim to lead souls to God/Allah. Even as such, they remain subject to individual interpretation. Beautifully and essentially so. How is it that the loudest voices and the strongest arms interpret the message to be one of violence and death? Why don't the consummate followers of the Qur'an and Torah stand up to these manipulators of faith? No book of a Heavenly source would inspire a mother to strap a bomb to her 12-year-old son and send him out to blow up a children's school bus. Even if you want to discount religiosity in this, secular sensibility and human decency dictate killing one's child is horrific.

I know this post is a juvenile over-simplification of the middle eastern conflict. But I could not resist making note of the flagrant juxtaposition between my daughter's new sense of faith, which propels her to love and serve, and another child's new sense of faith, which propels hand grenades.

Entropa

When I found this little nugget of news, I immediately called dibs before Keith could blog about it. There is a fantastic story going around about an "art hoax" in Europe. The European Union received a huge new mosaic to be placed outside the European Council Building in Brussels, where EU leaders hold their summits. The massive mosaic was unveiled this week and, it turns out, the whole thing is a gigantic joke on the countries of the EU. They've already installed this thing so it's up there (for now, anyway).

The mosaic was intended to be a tribute to the countries in the EU. It was created by Czech artist, David Cerny, and here's how audacious this dude is:

• Bulgaria is depicted as a rudimentary toilet.
• France is emblazened with the word GREVE! (French for strike), a reference to its frequent industrial disputes.
  
• Germany is a series of crisp highways in the shape of a swastika.
• Luxembourg is represented as a lump of gold, on sale to the highest bidder.
• Lithuanians are urinating on Russia.

So, at the ceremonial unveiling, what did Cerny have to say? "We knew the truth would come out. But before that we wanted to find out if Europe was able to laugh at itself." I can't speak for Europe, but I'm dying of laughter over here. It's painfully rare to find an artist with a good sense of humor. Well, Cerny may not be so much funny as he is sardonic. Still I appreciate this refreshingly comical tidbit from the other side of the ocean, you know, the side with the Louvre.

You can see pictures and read more about the mosaic here.

Governor Paterson's New BFF

To quote my favorite three-year-old neighbor, "What the ?" I just learned today that New York Governor David Paterson plans to appoint Caroline Kennedy to the NY Senate seat currently occupied by Secretary of State-designate Hillary Clinton. Caroline Kennedy! That's right, a woman whose credentials and qualifications can be summed up in one word: Kennedy. Caroline is about as qualified for this position as I am. She is a professional fundraiser and she is darn good at it. Her work on non-profit organizations has drawn millions in revenue. She helped raise over $65 million dollars for the New York City public schools alone. Her name is power and she knows how to wield it. However admirable her volunteer work is, it's ridiculous to say this qualifies her for appointment to the Senate. And so here we sit, twenty minutes after Sarah Palin was savagely beaten down and exposed as unqualified to run for national office, only to witness another absurdly unqualified woman, not be put up for vote, but instead, appointed to one of the most powerful positions in the land. Our citizenship met Sarah Palin, judged her weak, and voted accordingly. At least she could boast of being a successful governor! Caroline has nothing but her rich heritage and yet, she'll be 1 of 100 senators deciding the fate of our nation during this crucial moment in time. Ludicrous!

So, why would Patterson make such a preposterous appointment when there are countless elected public servants in the state of New York who actually have merit and ideas to contribute to the Senate? (By the way, everyone is sentient to the patronizing stance that it must be a woman who replaces Sen. Clinton. Offensive to the nth degree!) Well, see above paragraph. Patterson is purchasing Caroline Kennedy's fundraising potential and will no doubt cash in his premium two years from now when he runs for re-election. Caroline will dutifully make the phone calls and cheerfully host the dinners to garner millions of dollars for Patterson (and other Democratic incumbents). Because the exchange of goods will not actually occur until 2010, Patterson will get away with this outrageous mockery of serving the public good.

And to think that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will be sitting alone at the defense table. Patterson should be right next to him. The arrogance of these men, to think they can put their personal interest above that of the state's is, as Dan Carlin so aptly argued, treasonous. How do these people get elected? Wait, come to think of it, Paterson was not elected governor, but instead took office in the wake of the Governor Spitzer scandal. The people of New York are actually three steps away from selecting Hillary Clinton's replacement. In light of that, wouldn't it be all the more prudent for Paterson to appoint a New York state senator whom the people have elected at some level, showing some civic trust and endorsement? Democracy is wasted on those who are too indolent to elect respectable leaders. Shame!

Buster & Lucille

Since his entrance into this world, Eli has been acutely aware of his raiment. He cried all the way home from the hospital and I have since decided that it was because he did not care for the particular color of his receiving blanket. As soon as he was physically able, he began to dress himself and his primary language skills were honed as he artfully described what he would and would not wear. For example, last spring I pulled out a pair of brightly colored short pants. Eli took one look at them and said, "No thanks. Those look like a clown." I looked at the shorts again, and realized, he was absolutely correct. (Yet, to my recollection, he has never actually seen a clown.)

Well, Eli's fastidious attitude took a hilarious turn this last summer. One morning he decided, from that day forth, he would dress like me. And so he would wait until I dressed for the day and then he would go through his drawers to find a matching outfit. If I wore jeans, he wore jeans; when I wore cargo pants, he wore cargo pants. White shirt-white shirt, running shoes-running shoes, belt-belt. Color, pockets, buttons and length had to be the same. (I should mention how shocked I was to discover the similarities in our wardrobe. My entire collection consists of various shades of blue, white, gray, tan, and brown. It was frighteningly easy for Eli to "match" me 99% of the time.) Eventually Eli was calling out to me from his bedroom, "Are we wearing blue shorts?" and "Are we wearing our sandals today?" On the rare occasion I had to dress like a woman (rare, indeed!), Eli would sob and beg me to change into something he could match. The hardest day of the week, apparel-wise, was Sunday. For three or four weeks in a row, Eli pleaded with me not to wear a skirt but instead to wear brown pants like him. Those Sundays we left for church with poor Eli sulking in the back seat. He acted as though I had broken some filial pact and betrayed our beautiful dress-code. And so, you can only imagine his delight when last Sunday I pulled out a sweater that is merely a blacker, larger version of one of his church sweaters. He sang songs all the way to church and proudly sat on my lap the entire meeting. 'Tis indeed a magical time of year when even on Sunday we get to "match."